KALEIDOSCOPE COLORS

  This entry is going to tie in to the one I did last night. It will sort of untangle things a bit more, or give more more of a chance to articulate some things. Much of this sort of came to me while resting last night. Also after having a conversation that helped for sure.

 As people know ftom a few of the entries my initial coming out was as gay, then came out as bisexual and started to read lots of stuff and realized there was something else and that was demisexual. That's many colors for sure. However I had another one I'm fully ready to admit. Something I never thought would come out or I'd even think about. But once again with all the research hard research I realized had part trans in me those are the final colors in my kaleidoscope.

 So why do I say I am also I'm the area of Trans? Well so often I've liked to be the one treated in the dainty way. I always think to myself when I'm with my friends ah look how relaxed I am chilling with my girlfriends, like friends that are girls. I also have so often said to myself I don't want to be like my dad I want to like my mother. 

 Eventhough I haven't gone through the surgery, many days I feel like the lady if I'm either in a relationship or hanging with my macho friends lack of better term. I tried to be the one who was in control in relationship I would have but I always felt like the 16 year old girl when I did that. It was something so odd played with my mind.

 One thing I really need to mention is so many friend's when I'm totally clean shaven I've been told my feminine features come through many are surprised I didn't go through the whole thing. Where I am I feel is a perfect place knowing a strong part of me is bi and just as strong is demi and the trans non binary feelings have been there. I always knew that I felt the way my friend does but in reverse.

 Just before I finish I'm referring to Steph. Like for so much of my life I've never felt like a full man, always had feelings of woman inside of me. I think in a way that helped me come out in end. I've had times where I've been with GF and thought so elegant that's how I want to look. I want to have that. However it is not a 24/7 thing but that's why I'm now finding it easy to say I am a huge trans supporting person 

Comments

  1. JeanieJuly 11, 2021 at 6:23 PM

    So powerful! I am so happy that you're able to share your feelings like this! 💖💖

    ReplyDelete

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