Newlytravels

  The title of this is a very interesting one. It's about a ladder.  When I first came out it was at a poker game and came out as gay. I remember telling my parents and they were fine with it. Not long after I had a conversation and somebody at poker agreed I was bisexual. The reason this conclusion was come to was the attraction I had of both sexes and not just a male sex.   Then something really big happened at home for fun it tried on one of mom's kerchiefs. It made me feel really fantastic and I started to see myself as a non Binary trans. After this there was an explosive thing I never expected but actually did expect from the very beginning.   A few people had asked me if I was transgender. This was something that absolutely stunned me for sure. I thought me no there is no way.  Then when I both started watching videos and trying on more of mom's stuff also some stuff while shopping and at my girlfriends. Then I started getting my Own style....

   Saturday I had something incredible happen all because of my girlfriend. Because of me coming out as transgender my girlfriend Jennifer wrote me a wonderful goodnight note. Not only did she tell me how proud of me she was that was the first part of my euphoric feeling.  Then I saw something that made me tingle what was this   Jennifer used a female pronoun, and not just any female pronoun but used princess. It was such a wave of emotion through the body. One like I hadn't felt in ages it was years ago when a girlfriend called me her queen as a joke and I felt the same feeling. However this time it was much more intense. Much more yes it's me   A good example she also said I had bloomed. I find this as another way of my I saw my awesome new true self. The self that has been inside and shown herself on some occasions and has felt great. 

 🏳️‍⚧️  The other night I had a very intense spiritual message hit me. It was truly an amazing feeling for sure. Especially with all of the hiding I've had to do at home for the most part. Constantly hearing my birthname over and over is very disheartening so I pretend I'm either hearing my pronouns or my chosen name.  A few nights ago I got the most wonderful message it was actually a message about my true name Quinn. I had seen somebody I hadn't seen in well over a decade and he kept saying my birthname. I corrected him told him I no longer went by that name anymore. Eventually somebody pulled me aside said he's only here tonight just try and relax and let it slide. So eventually I did because I knew I wouldn't be seeing him again or at least not for very long time as he no longer lives in the area.  So what left me on cloud nine feeling the spiritual epiphany that I had?  It was a few nights ago while I was going to sleep. I had a feeling hit me an amazing e...

  This month on the 8th was my anniversary with my partner Jennifer. However it was a weekday so we delayed the celebration until the 10th. It actually worked out in a good way as we were not only able to celebrate our anniversary but we also did a recommitment ceremony. It was a really incredible day aside from the obvious of course I had a former teacher witness our ceremony.  He was my all time favorite teacher such a wonderful gentleman and one of the people who I had mentioned first helped me come out. Tom Gallagher my former drama teacher. One of the people who gave me so much advice. He was really happy when I recently told him I was indentifying as transgender non-binary. His response was I am so happy your finding yourself Quinn   Now the ceremony was a wonderful day with Jennifer meeting Tom and seeing both of them hit it off. I was expecting that but was so happy to see it. Both Jen and I loved the day especially when we exchanged new vows to each other fe...

  For such a very long I had the feeling my "egg" wasn't correct and it needed to be cracked. I put them in a normal way or suppressed them but also had feelings that I was more feminine than masculine on many occasions. I thought for a while it was just questioning myself as a gay man or bisexual man.   Then I landed in a very euphoric place and at first I came out under the trans umbrella. One thing that helped me was saying I'm not CIS I said this out loud and that really helped. Saying Non Binary Gender fluid. I actually was telling people how comfortable I felt.   So then when I started wearing feminine clothes even with my masculine look I was getting people call me she mam her.  I knew it for sure in two areas when I was called she by my partner and man and she at my poker game. I felt such an awesome release.  Those two times I went home smiled and had tears such happy tears. Tears of saying wow this truly is me and people appreciate me in my t...

  When I first came out back in 2019 starting my journey I never thought it would lead me to where I am but in some ways I think I always knew. I just needed to be shown and told and in some ways over the years I have been. What do I mean by this well everyone knows that when I first announced I had come out I came out as gay, then after conversations I had thought I was more bisexual.   I then took another step in my journey and came out as a non Binary individual. This seemed to actually fit me like a glove I was having incredible feelings run through me. That was until my more Euphoric and great feeling which I will describe.   Another way I felt amazing was when I would go out in Toronto or at karaoke and I would wear something feminine. After a while I started to feel non binary wasn't quite what was Identity so to speak. There was another reason for this and that was because I had always wanted to be in the female clothing in my highschool years. Plus this...

  Tonight I had a truly amazing and freeing time. The full Quinn was able to emerge both internally and shown externally as non binary transgender. I had the incredible feeling I had not shown and I also was able to dress up and tonight was beyond freeing.  Yes it's very true I have dressed feminine in the past but I haven't had the two parts click together until recently and especially until tonight. I was with my CIS GF tonight and being in the feminine clothing the feelings came flowing through. I have to say it was one of if not the best date I've had just because of everything that came out that was buried for so long.   Tonight I must admit I didn't think I was going to be as relaxed as I was. I have to say I can't remember when I have ever been so relaxed, I think it's because all of Quinn was 100% in the open. I have been in the open wearing my feminine side but there was something different about this something more freeing more blissful. The blissful f...

  This is something I have touched on in many of my entries but I'm really going to focus on it in this entry. As I said before I knew but didn't know I was non binary and transgender. However I thought no there is no possibility I could be transgender as I would never go through the surgery and I do all the things that guys do. I was into sports still am I'm a big gym rat and I found lot in common with male poker friends.   Now on the other side and in another way so often in my life internally I have felt feminine and thought I belonged female and didn't feel fully male. As I have mentioned in other entries I think that's why I was always intrigued and wondering what the female clothing would look like on me.  Then when I had a chance to try on some clothes I felt extremely free. Then when I went out it was an even more free feeling.   One big point was the combination of how I looked on the outside and how I felt feel on the inside. Especially when I hav...

 Several times I have walked down the street and seen so many ladies wearing amazing outfits that make me say wow. But this isn't a new revelation no not at all. As a matter of fact I've always had a big feminine part to myself and it was a part I always wanted to explore and release. The more I held it in the more I knew I was hurting people and it was an awful feeling.   Now let's explore when I actually first began to know like for real for real. Yes I had mentioned High school but I really knew with my first true girlfriend. So how did I know I wasn't like all my guy friends like a couple but I was like my girlfriend at the time in lot of ways. I especially remember wanting to just try her things on but was so afraid because of my family.   As I fully came out a number of years ago I no longer cared even though my family didn't support me. With my current girlfriend it was very easy to see who I was. So often I could see and feel my feminine side. And could ...

  This for me is definitely going to a very interesting post and one that has been a very long time coming as well. It's all about my family and how they both kept it from coming and also brought it right into the spotlight. First off as I had mentioned before I was afraid for to long to even talk about anything LGBTQ with my family in a deep way, then there was the side of just coming out. It was a very nail hitting experience for sure one I still play over in my mind at times.   So how was I supposed to tell my family about these feelings I had for years upon years about having my fem side and wanting to explore it. Then after I had explored it what was I to say if I felt comfortable in this new me or as I have come to see it true me.   Another reason my family effected this side of it is because of my disabilities and health I had never been treated like a "full man" I always in a way felt more delicate like the daughter would. Over the years I imagined that ...

  In my last two entries I talked about how I had a number of relationships and didnt fully feel complete or really understand why I wasn't feeling complete. I'm not saying I didn't like anyone just it was like a bit frozen. Or another way to describe it is say when we're a teen or young adult and kinda did things to follow in with the crowd. Afraid to be left behind or out. I will admit there were a couple where I had a brief spark but nothing huge and lasting, except my first GF but that was it was because I thought was normal because of everyone.   Now with the relationship I'm in now it's so much better and different. I'm not in this relationship because I see it as "the normal". Being under the Ace spectrum is amazing because in my relationship it has been awesome since coming out.   I feel strongly that I have found my perfect self. With a mixture under the Non Binary umbrella and the Ace umbrella it's a relaxing place for me.