LOOKING DEEP INTO MYSELF

 🏳️‍🌈 Over the years I did so much talking to my spiritual advisors ill use term as I don't believe the entire Bible thing. However do believe in a higher power. I know something great had to create everything just never was sure it was "God". I think the times I truly believed in God were when I was younger going all through high-school. Part of that I believe was my mom and her side of family and I remember going to catholic schools you were afraid. Or at least I was.  The whole don't do this or hell don't do that the major sin.

 All of that up into my young adult years made me question everything. Like when I got kissed on cheek from certain guys who were gay I didn't know at the time, but I felt the same electricity as when some girls hugged and kissed me. It was a very confusing time for me almost like I was starting to learn everything over again.

 One other reason I had to dig deep into myself is I am not sure why but I have always had more friends that are female it could have been a safe thing or just felt more relaxed. Never felt all pressured to act out of my comfort area. 

 Then when the times I would get even say a later hug or a birthday or holiday guy from a guy. There were times I would feel that awesome energy I felt when dating a girl sometimes more so. But i didn't dig any further i continued with woman even into older adulthood. 

 But I did still have this incredibly strong feeling towards guys but only in certain situations like on tv or when I would read certain things. Or see them of course, I mean like in a coffee shop or something not actually see them.

 That was when my mind traveled towards me being gay, as  people had thought in past I was thinking maybe was true. Until I was still having strong attraction to females and having friends talk to me about being bisexual if anything. I have actually never felt more relaxed being able to say I'm bisexual and feel more relaxed and free living that way🏳️‍🌈💛🤍💜🖤

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

OUR TERMS OF ENDEARMENT

  In every other relationship I have been in, including other times my current GF and I were together they were either my GF or my partner/BF. We also had terms of endearment that we would like to use with each other. Things like shutterbug, butterfly for a couple of examples. Then yes with everyone dated typical ones like sweetie hun babe.  With this relationship because of my non binary Transgender identity I got the most awesome nickname/term of endearment ever.  Instead of BF or just hun sweetie I am referred to as a Joyfriend. Joyfriend it makes my heart leap and feel so awesome. Because it's such a gender neautral name that can be used with anyone. Going out and hearing this is my Joyfriend makes me smile and gives me a huge great feeling inside. Nicknames really can be amazing for sure. 
Read more

NAME DYSPHORIA

 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ It took me a while to decide what site I was going to put this one in as it is effecting me both with my seizure side and my Non Binary prefered name side. I decided finally to enter it here as in the end really applies more to this blog. Especially with the certain situations and places the name dysphoria can and has kicked in. It really has kicked in at home as all of family absolutely refuses to acknowledge me as Quinn and I'm still referred to by my birthname this I have noticed every so often is a trigger for a seizure. Or at least a trigger where I need to destress.   Another place I found it effecting me and in this area a fair bit I have to admit is my fault. This happens at poker especially on a Sunday afternoon I finding it more percentage if you take the size of the crowds. It's strange before I came out as Quinn I never minded going by my last name. But I guess because my new name has turned me into a new person, more free person. Or should I say...
Read more

ENTRY FOR JENNIFER

   Being at the very least non binary person dating a CIS person I wasn't sure that would happen again.  It really surprised me when I began dating Jennifer again, I'm not saying there is anything bad. Actually indeed  everything has been going like on ice so smooth and a perfect glide.  We've had a few nice at home dates and have brought us together. Simple watching tv listening to music. We get to hug and cuddle and it brings and has brought us closer together. Especially because we don't live super close. Well we do but because neither of us drive it sort long distance.  So no matter the time we get together it's nice and special.   It gets really fun when we go out, especially when I can take my turns dressing up. Plus when I'm out with my CIS GF we can do things in both area's. What do I mean by this either we spend time where pretty much everyone would or we can ho to LGBTQ district's. So both sides get covered.
Read more