Newlytravels

  This Easter my mom and sister said just get cards and chocolate for my nieces and my nephew. So that is what I did this year just some simple gifts. It mostly because of covid and not being able to go shopping on my own.  The one thing this Easter that I did I haven't done as of yet, I signed my nieces and nephew cards as Quinn all my other cards since coming out non binary have been signed David. David being my deadname. So these were signed using as my preferred name and I had a few tears.   They weren't bad tears actually they were happy tears cloud nine tears. Because I was writing "my name" to my family eventhough do far only nieces and nephew. So I will see how things go at sisters when the cards get read and then my sister and brother in law see them. 

   I recently have been examining everything and have been trying to see if I had any new triggers for seizures. Was working out if was just the same old things or new. I actually did find a new trigger for my seizures. It's hearing my dead name of David.  Perhaps I should clarify one point before I go on. I don't mean if I randomly hear the name David no its when I am called David, and I have to correct and say my name is Quinn. Or if a person says no I won't use it that's not you, not gonna happen.    They anxiety kicks up and I many times have a seizure, not major huge but still seizures. I think to myself "why should I bend for you?" It's like my feelings aren't taken into consideration. I didn't do this just for fun and everything as some seem to think I did.    No this has been a life long journey for sure. As I have mentioned I knew of course I had different feelings when I was younger, however I'm not sure if I've said this but I fe...

   A little over a week ago I was chatting with another one of my high-school teachers online. It was about my preferred name and how I was now going by Quinn. We were talking about this because I had pinned something on my Facebook wall about how that was the name I would now be going by, Kathy had written under she would use that name.  I had messaged her back and thanked her. I was over joyed to find another ally. She told me she had a grand teen who was non binary. I also discussed how I had friends who said we've known you as David over a decade and "Quinn isn't real". Kathy had the most awesome response as other allies have as well. Quinn is very real. Each time I've seen or heard that it's tear jerking, in good way and heart warming.  Kathy has always been amazing I remember her from my time in school what a supportive person she was to everyone. So glad to see she hasn't changed. Another awesome person supporting the real me, myself as Quinn.

   This is a follow up to the piece I did yesterday. The entry about how for so many years I had felt like everyday was Halloween. Like each day I had been wearing a costume and wasn't being my true self. So why did I continue too do that for the sake of family and to keep the civility and peace within the house and family. Well 3 years ago it hit me that enough was enough and I essentially threw the costume away and I stand before you relaxed and care free.  Now it hasn't all been perfect as I had said before there were a couple of other costumes of my own. Like when I first came out as gay that was a costume and in a way I think it was because I thought everyone could live and accept that the best. Well family did as long as nobody was seeing anything. So why have that costume   Then their was the "part costume" of me as David and bisexual. I felt comfortable but not fully complete I  that costume. So that's why I say part costume. Then my Bisexual and no...

  In this my 5oth year I now have officially been out to everyone for three years. I have to be honest with everyone I have never felt more free than I do now. It has been a winding toad journey in a few ways. The first reason I have to ve honest I thought I might lose a few of my friends but they have all been great supporters.   The first part of the winding road was when I first came out as just gay. But I had my conversations and that didn't seem to be me. There was still something  lying underneath it. And during talks and after going over everything me being bisexual was a stronger more definitive feeling. Then I had more feeling inside me   That is the next part in the road it actually was a feeling I had and something people noticed in me. But I didn't see it fully and that was a stronger feminine side than most guys have. I didn't know the exact term until a friend talked to me about it, then I read about non binary and ssid oh my God that is ne. T...

 I know that Quinn hasn't done ann entry in a couple of months, I especially felt like tonight was the right time. Tonight was a very blissful night I really in the end was feeling extremely euphoric over the moon. Tonight I tried dressing more fem than I ever have. I had tried costumes at camp or just costumes but this was more "real".  I have to admit at first I thought I was going to be very nervous. But I was actually relaxed my emotions understood that I truly do identify as non binary They/Them not He/Him as many would say I am. But as Quinn I for sure feel free comfortable with the pronouns They/Them.   I will be writing more as Quinn again I just needed to step back for a bit. 

   This entry is for somebody who not only I have dated but is now one of my best friend's. I'm talking about Jennifer yes like all friends we have had fights and issues over time, especially when I came out initially. However she saw like the majority of my friend's and people I know it's who I truly am. Of course I don't think my family ever is going to accept Quinn or even if went back to just gay.  As everyone knows I came out gay but that wasn't me and it really didn't take long to understand that I was at least bisexual however as I've said I knew there was another layer to me I just didn't have the term. Didn't have the proper wording I  needed, until I started reading about different things. The two that clicked together were bisexual and non binary.  The bisexual made total 100% sense as I've been attracted to both sexes and feelings have been great on both sides. Not just the oh ya he's cute you should ask him out to a girl. But...