Newlytravels

  Tonight was so amazing for me along my journey I had the grandest Epiphany that I have ever had. Way back when I was first discovering myself like before the discovering of my trans identity I first thought I was gay as I'm MTM. Then I watched a few videos and one struck me really hard and was a holy crap moment that's me.  Like I had been with guys before and me doing one one particular things was a cringe moment..I also had the realization that I wasn't the straight guy or the bi guy many thought. So especially tonight I realized with my partner I am definitely transgender and it was such a feeling of euphoria flowing through me, especially this evening. I soon have a ceremony coming up and I absaloutey can not wait for the day to arrive. That way I can be seen as the girl I am. I love having a GF and being seen as a GF something I have always been just in different hidden ways. Now it's free open. 

 I know it has been a while since entered in both blogs but life has been crazy. Of course there was the passing of my dad and I took a few months away from writing just to have so me regroup time for myself. I know six months sounds like lot to take away from writing but had to get everything all settled.   Now I have found out I will be moving out of house and in with sister in the near future so this has been leading to some downsizing especially in my movie and TV area. Another place it has led to downsizing is with pride. I was working on my room with my mom I was tackling my closet for certain clothes so she did my drawers to empty space.    I had already been having seizures so before mom got to my bottom drawer I had to toss my pride flags. It was better than why these here and eye roll thing. So while out of room I got in and did it. Even my bracelets are gone fortunately might be getting new ones soon. 

🏳️‍🌈I was inspired to do this entry from a YouTube couple. Jackie and Anya, they have a channel wives vs world. Actually they really have helped me more and more along with another Transgender warrior Ashley Adamson.  I present as masculine most of the time as I have mentioned before however for the longest time I have felt like I was a girl, both internally and externally. Even though I have to present more masculine because of situations of living and not being able do surgery or take hormones because of lots of other meds i am on.   I view my "newer life" as Quinn I have my sexuality and who I love, and I love my wonderful girlfriend Jennifer. My Gender identity to me I am Transgender female something that is giving me great joy to be able to say to so many. Then I have my gender expression and I express myself feminine as much as I can. But in certain areas still a bit more masculine. However I really feel like I have freed my feminine side. Something I've been want...

 🏳️‍⚧️ When I was in the "initial stages" of coming out as Transgender there are many things I remember. One is trying on my mother's scarves and feeling so amazing and different. Then I started to try on unisex but very feminine things in store I had a different feeling than if it was the masculine unisex clothing. Then I started seeing girls woman and thinking to myself I would look great in that. At this point I thought to myself am I just a cross dresser  . I bought a few outfits for myself and it gave me a different feeling a unique feeling. Not just a feeling of oh I feel amazing which I did but a feeling of I can feel the true me coming out. My egg breaking so to speak..My breakout outfit was a yellow blouse that I first wore with jeans and it was yes at the time Quinn you are and always have been a woman.  I always knew but had a hard time bringing her out. She really is out now fully. Well fully in regard to those accepting. That is why I have become Davina and ...

  Transforming: Buried deep down all my life I had been waiting for my big chance. My chance to transform. It was difficult as I had many road blocks and there are still a few. However being out now as a transgender woman has helped me realize that even with the things blocking me I should have come out much sooner as I am feeling so great ever since I admitted it to myself and others.    Radiance: Ever since coming out as Transgender like fully "Transgender". Not non binary and Transgender combined people have been using a certain word to describe me. That is either Radiance or odd time Radiant. Refering to when they see me in pictures I have been taken in. I've been told that I've never looked so happy. In this area I owe so much to my wonderful partner Jennifer for all there help. Especially with outfits and when we are out.   Astounding: Coming out as Transgender has also made me feel astounding. It's like I'm living a whole new life, well I am except for ...

     🏳️‍⚧️I did something similar to this entry a couple of years ago, with everything that has gone in mostly excellent I thought it was time to revisit. So yea this is going to look like another part another update on this long journey I have been on. Yes much of it has been wonderful but there have also been rough patches like any journey a person takes. So let's examine the different areas.   First off as everyone know way back when even before I initially came out I had feelings I felt I couldn't admit. Then when people kept asking me if I was gay it went to back of mind. I finally was able to come out and a weight was lifted. But there was something still not sitting perfect I noticed this at poker and when I went DT with partner. So I then came out as bi as it was a better "label" however that's all it was, was a label.  Then I came out non binary abd people started to say your just using different labels so don't have to narrow down. I was especial...

  🏳️‍⚧️So I am now on my third name and this name has brought so much joy and euphoria everytime I've heard it and seen it typed. Yes Quinn brought me joy and they in some way will always be a part of me. However this name is different and makes me feel complete and amazing.   So what is the name it's a form of my birthname. The name is Davina and it has done so much for me. Even though been a very short time using it each time I have seen it or read it, it has fit like a glove like that's the name that always should been there along with being feminine and not masculine. However this is something that I've known and all my partners told me while together. That the roles seemed reversed. I know they weren't trying to be mean now just observation and something I didn't want to fully accept.   I say fully accept because as I had mentioned before other places I had felt more feminine like I should been one of the girls. One place was in highschool when I both love...

 🏳️‍⚧️ Yesterday marked the third anniversary of me coming out as non binary and it also marked the start on my way to being my true self of transgender.  So I actually consider myself as being transgender that full time just having a much harder time to admit it for a number of reasons  The first major reason was my family like always. The next was I wasn't sure how would effect my GF as I was coming out and being "the female" so to speak. And of course the least but still tiny thought friend area. So far the select friends know I'm transgender have fully embraced me told me I exude confidence and look wonderful.  Turned out that I had nothing to worry about with my GF either. She has been there since beginning and is supporting me in this part. That is truly amazing and has really helped alot especially on stressful days. So having my new identity is truely amazing and something else to embrace.🏳️‍⚧️

  🏳️‍⚧️ This entry is going to tie into others I have written in the past. It will show my new feminine side and me becoming the GF in the relationship. That is something I felt in other relationships but I pushed down. Another way I pushed it down and still do unless I'm out the way I dress and name people use on me. That is huge euphoria when "my chosen name" is heard.   Now onto me being the GF, so often in the past I had wondered what it would feel like and in a couple of relationships I could see it. That really helped me for sure and the warm feeling I have now is a feeling of over the moon. My current partner has been awesome and I see and feel who truly was in me. I see it especially when I get dressed up in my outfits and especially when I'm in public and others are accepting me for myself. It's truly awesome saying I'm the GF or hearing this is my or your my GF from my partner.🏳️‍⚧️

   Woke up to absolute horror and Schock this morning. My family knows I have come out as gay but everyone else knows me as Quinn.Well except my partner Jennifer who now knows me by my newer name of Davina a more euphoric and uplifting name.    So what was the Schock last night while at my wonderful partners I took some pictures in my new outfits. What I didn't realize was my sister wasn't blocked from that album and I may be getting outed as transgender to mom. This will destroy me as they barely accept me as gay. But I'm feeling so amazing with my feminine feelings and when I can act feminine and dress feminine. As I've said I've known so long she was in there but had to keep buried. Well it all might come now that sister saw my latest pictures. Hoping that I'm not outed as I said barely accept Gay or Bi 

  Last night I was in pure bliss. I finally found a Bra that fit me right and for the time I had it on it was like no other feeling I had. Or at least nothing for a very long time. It was such a relaxing evening that put my body at ease. Something else that put my body at ease was I actually did look ok in it. When I saw this I turned red blushing I knew I was looking at another part of the true me.  Even if so many others don't believe it or acknowledge it I see the true me and I couldn't be any happier. Well I guess I could if everyone accepted me as I am and not as my birthname. Especially when I tell people constantly how much happiness I feel living as I am now. Well at least I know some are there for me and they are all very important in different ways.  It's great having that family support me and my journey I'm on. 

   Hi (Quinn) for now writing a new entry. I say for now as I have found a name that makes me feel so euphoric it's beyond amazing. There may be a new name in my future. We will have to wait and see for sure   So why the name change im feeling like the perfect amazing lady. This has been all from videos and spending time with my partner. The last the true lady has come to the surface and it's never been such a more amazing feeling. It's a freedom I've been waiting for all my life and it's finally here. I find I am able to show my feminine side in more and more places and show it to more people. That has released me and my true person my inner buried girl. Thanks to videos and my partner. 

  The title of this is a very interesting one. It's about a ladder.  When I first came out it was at a poker game and came out as gay. I remember telling my parents and they were fine with it. Not long after I had a conversation and somebody at poker agreed I was bisexual. The reason this conclusion was come to was the attraction I had of both sexes and not just a male sex.   Then something really big happened at home for fun it tried on one of mom's kerchiefs. It made me feel really fantastic and I started to see myself as a non Binary trans. After this there was an explosive thing I never expected but actually did expect from the very beginning.   A few people had asked me if I was transgender. This was something that absolutely stunned me for sure. I thought me no there is no way.  Then when I both started watching videos and trying on more of mom's stuff also some stuff while shopping and at my girlfriends. Then I started getting my Own style....

   Saturday I had something incredible happen all because of my girlfriend. Because of me coming out as transgender my girlfriend Jennifer wrote me a wonderful goodnight note. Not only did she tell me how proud of me she was that was the first part of my euphoric feeling.  Then I saw something that made me tingle what was this   Jennifer used a female pronoun, and not just any female pronoun but used princess. It was such a wave of emotion through the body. One like I hadn't felt in ages it was years ago when a girlfriend called me her queen as a joke and I felt the same feeling. However this time it was much more intense. Much more yes it's me   A good example she also said I had bloomed. I find this as another way of my I saw my awesome new true self. The self that has been inside and shown herself on some occasions and has felt great. 

 🏳️‍⚧️  The other night I had a very intense spiritual message hit me. It was truly an amazing feeling for sure. Especially with all of the hiding I've had to do at home for the most part. Constantly hearing my birthname over and over is very disheartening so I pretend I'm either hearing my pronouns or my chosen name.  A few nights ago I got the most wonderful message it was actually a message about my true name Quinn. I had seen somebody I hadn't seen in well over a decade and he kept saying my birthname. I corrected him told him I no longer went by that name anymore. Eventually somebody pulled me aside said he's only here tonight just try and relax and let it slide. So eventually I did because I knew I wouldn't be seeing him again or at least not for very long time as he no longer lives in the area.  So what left me on cloud nine feeling the spiritual epiphany that I had?  It was a few nights ago while I was going to sleep. I had a feeling hit me an amazing e...

  This month on the 8th was my anniversary with my partner Jennifer. However it was a weekday so we delayed the celebration until the 10th. It actually worked out in a good way as we were not only able to celebrate our anniversary but we also did a recommitment ceremony. It was a really incredible day aside from the obvious of course I had a former teacher witness our ceremony.  He was my all time favorite teacher such a wonderful gentleman and one of the people who I had mentioned first helped me come out. Tom Gallagher my former drama teacher. One of the people who gave me so much advice. He was really happy when I recently told him I was indentifying as transgender non-binary. His response was I am so happy your finding yourself Quinn   Now the ceremony was a wonderful day with Jennifer meeting Tom and seeing both of them hit it off. I was expecting that but was so happy to see it. Both Jen and I loved the day especially when we exchanged new vows to each other fe...

  For such a very long I had the feeling my "egg" wasn't correct and it needed to be cracked. I put them in a normal way or suppressed them but also had feelings that I was more feminine than masculine on many occasions. I thought for a while it was just questioning myself as a gay man or bisexual man.   Then I landed in a very euphoric place and at first I came out under the trans umbrella. One thing that helped me was saying I'm not CIS I said this out loud and that really helped. Saying Non Binary Gender fluid. I actually was telling people how comfortable I felt.   So then when I started wearing feminine clothes even with my masculine look I was getting people call me she mam her.  I knew it for sure in two areas when I was called she by my partner and man and she at my poker game. I felt such an awesome release.  Those two times I went home smiled and had tears such happy tears. Tears of saying wow this truly is me and people appreciate me in my t...

  When I first came out back in 2019 starting my journey I never thought it would lead me to where I am but in some ways I think I always knew. I just needed to be shown and told and in some ways over the years I have been. What do I mean by this well everyone knows that when I first announced I had come out I came out as gay, then after conversations I had thought I was more bisexual.   I then took another step in my journey and came out as a non Binary individual. This seemed to actually fit me like a glove I was having incredible feelings run through me. That was until my more Euphoric and great feeling which I will describe.   Another way I felt amazing was when I would go out in Toronto or at karaoke and I would wear something feminine. After a while I started to feel non binary wasn't quite what was Identity so to speak. There was another reason for this and that was because I had always wanted to be in the female clothing in my highschool years. Plus this...

  Tonight I had a truly amazing and freeing time. The full Quinn was able to emerge both internally and shown externally as non binary transgender. I had the incredible feeling I had not shown and I also was able to dress up and tonight was beyond freeing.  Yes it's very true I have dressed feminine in the past but I haven't had the two parts click together until recently and especially until tonight. I was with my CIS GF tonight and being in the feminine clothing the feelings came flowing through. I have to say it was one of if not the best date I've had just because of everything that came out that was buried for so long.   Tonight I must admit I didn't think I was going to be as relaxed as I was. I have to say I can't remember when I have ever been so relaxed, I think it's because all of Quinn was 100% in the open. I have been in the open wearing my feminine side but there was something different about this something more freeing more blissful. The blissful f...

  This is something I have touched on in many of my entries but I'm really going to focus on it in this entry. As I said before I knew but didn't know I was non binary and transgender. However I thought no there is no possibility I could be transgender as I would never go through the surgery and I do all the things that guys do. I was into sports still am I'm a big gym rat and I found lot in common with male poker friends.   Now on the other side and in another way so often in my life internally I have felt feminine and thought I belonged female and didn't feel fully male. As I have mentioned in other entries I think that's why I was always intrigued and wondering what the female clothing would look like on me.  Then when I had a chance to try on some clothes I felt extremely free. Then when I went out it was an even more free feeling.   One big point was the combination of how I looked on the outside and how I felt feel on the inside. Especially when I hav...