Newlytravels

  When I first came out back in 2019 starting my journey I never thought it would lead me to where I am but in some ways I think I always knew. I just needed to be shown and told and in some ways over the years I have been. What do I mean by this well everyone knows that when I first announced I had come out I came out as gay, then after conversations I had thought I was more bisexual.   I then took another step in my journey and came out as a non Binary individual. This seemed to actually fit me like a glove I was having incredible feelings run through me. That was until my more Euphoric and great feeling which I will describe.   Another way I felt amazing was when I would go out in Toronto or at karaoke and I would wear something feminine. After a while I started to feel non binary wasn't quite what was Identity so to speak. There was another reason for this and that was because I had always wanted to be in the female clothing in my highschool years. Plus this...

  Tonight I had a truly amazing and freeing time. The full Quinn was able to emerge both internally and shown externally as non binary transgender. I had the incredible feeling I had not shown and I also was able to dress up and tonight was beyond freeing.  Yes it's very true I have dressed feminine in the past but I haven't had the two parts click together until recently and especially until tonight. I was with my CIS GF tonight and being in the feminine clothing the feelings came flowing through. I have to say it was one of if not the best date I've had just because of everything that came out that was buried for so long.   Tonight I must admit I didn't think I was going to be as relaxed as I was. I have to say I can't remember when I have ever been so relaxed, I think it's because all of Quinn was 100% in the open. I have been in the open wearing my feminine side but there was something different about this something more freeing more blissful. The blissful f...

  This is something I have touched on in many of my entries but I'm really going to focus on it in this entry. As I said before I knew but didn't know I was non binary and transgender. However I thought no there is no possibility I could be transgender as I would never go through the surgery and I do all the things that guys do. I was into sports still am I'm a big gym rat and I found lot in common with male poker friends.   Now on the other side and in another way so often in my life internally I have felt feminine and thought I belonged female and didn't feel fully male. As I have mentioned in other entries I think that's why I was always intrigued and wondering what the female clothing would look like on me.  Then when I had a chance to try on some clothes I felt extremely free. Then when I went out it was an even more free feeling.   One big point was the combination of how I looked on the outside and how I felt feel on the inside. Especially when I hav...

 Several times I have walked down the street and seen so many ladies wearing amazing outfits that make me say wow. But this isn't a new revelation no not at all. As a matter of fact I've always had a big feminine part to myself and it was a part I always wanted to explore and release. The more I held it in the more I knew I was hurting people and it was an awful feeling.   Now let's explore when I actually first began to know like for real for real. Yes I had mentioned High school but I really knew with my first true girlfriend. So how did I know I wasn't like all my guy friends like a couple but I was like my girlfriend at the time in lot of ways. I especially remember wanting to just try her things on but was so afraid because of my family.   As I fully came out a number of years ago I no longer cared even though my family didn't support me. With my current girlfriend it was very easy to see who I was. So often I could see and feel my feminine side. And could ...

  This for me is definitely going to a very interesting post and one that has been a very long time coming as well. It's all about my family and how they both kept it from coming and also brought it right into the spotlight. First off as I had mentioned before I was afraid for to long to even talk about anything LGBTQ with my family in a deep way, then there was the side of just coming out. It was a very nail hitting experience for sure one I still play over in my mind at times.   So how was I supposed to tell my family about these feelings I had for years upon years about having my fem side and wanting to explore it. Then after I had explored it what was I to say if I felt comfortable in this new me or as I have come to see it true me.   Another reason my family effected this side of it is because of my disabilities and health I had never been treated like a "full man" I always in a way felt more delicate like the daughter would. Over the years I imagined that ...

  In my last two entries I talked about how I had a number of relationships and didnt fully feel complete or really understand why I wasn't feeling complete. I'm not saying I didn't like anyone just it was like a bit frozen. Or another way to describe it is say when we're a teen or young adult and kinda did things to follow in with the crowd. Afraid to be left behind or out. I will admit there were a couple where I had a brief spark but nothing huge and lasting, except my first GF but that was it was because I thought was normal because of everyone.   Now with the relationship I'm in now it's so much better and different. I'm not in this relationship because I see it as "the normal". Being under the Ace spectrum is amazing because in my relationship it has been awesome since coming out.   I feel strongly that I have found my perfect self. With a mixture under the Non Binary umbrella and the Ace umbrella it's a relaxing place for me.

   This is a bit of an extension of my entry from yesterday. How I found my greyside besides seeing videos and reading all about it. I have to say while reading it was very helpful and eye opening to me. I'll explain how in a bit more detail.    Yes I have been on my share of dates over my 51 years I never felt truly comfrerable with the majority except the ones. Like I really felt special things. I thought that one past GF was going to be like that because lot time we watched TV or play cards. Then one time she kissed me right away I was stunned. Then she sat down asked ne don't you ever just wanna well you know. That's when I knew it was starting to end and I really pulled away except cuddling.  Another GF wanted me wait on her hand foot but that's just not me I need a true equal. I needed somebody who wasn't a control freak. Somebody who would give me breathing room and once again not need just that 1 thing. It seemned for a while that's what I was walking in...