HIDDEN HOMOPHOBIC

  I've sort of suspected for a while but after rereading a few of my entries and different things I have come yo solid decision. The solid decision I have come to is I have a family that is "hidden homophobic". So how do I mean hidden homophic well that's actually very easy to explain as much as I wish it wasn't.

 When I came out I was loved and embraced by my immediate family, mother father sister and brother in law. It was such a great feeling being accepted when I was afraid I wouldn't be. Well I only thought I was being fully accepted ya right not exactly. In my view fully accepted meant treating me totally like there son or brother. I felt like I was truly in a safe space and relaxed for a good long while.

 Then different things started happening where it made my family look more homophobic than non homophobic. That was odd because they accepted a family member and a long friend of family. They had no issue with them . But somehow all the issues came out with me 

 I'll start with something I wrote about earlier, it was forgetting taking off my jewelry at a wedding and getting asked seriously did you need to wear that hear?

 Then my sister talking to mom saying why does he need to flaunt because he came out, and mom then saying why you posting so many pics? I said I don't post more than my average friend. She said right but they don't post anything like that. 

 I love going downtown it's my home away from or would be if covid wasn't going on. When I was telling her was going to see friends after I came out a number of times she had a very interesting response. You just want to go so you can wander through that area downtown. I may have gone through a bit but 70% time was always spent around Eaton Centre Nathan Phillips and book stores. It wasn't just so I could hit church area.

 So I wear my jewelry at home or at a friend's. But not around family when going out or at my sister's.